1. Go to bed earlier so you actually go to bed WITH your W instead of after her. === (Doing that sometimes)
2. Take more interest in your joint friends who WEREN'T computer buffs. === (W does not like any of my friends and they are normal people. It has been this way since 1970. She leaves the room when they come to the house.
Her friends almost never get invited home or out to a function. If I invite her friends she said she will stay in the bed room until they leave. W is slowly taking interest in some of her relatives again.
3. Don't leave motherboards and modems lying around the floor. ==== ( I don't, they are on the bed head board. I guess I better move them. (printer parts in my case) Just kidding, but not kidding Jo.
4. Arrange some time to talk with W about nothing, just gossip and fun. === (I have been doing some of that.)
Many years of her disliking my work and friends has taught me to be quiet at home. As you might remember, my W loves to talk about consumer products like things you buy in big department stores. If we talk about consumer items she gets the bug=(compulsive interest) to go shopping. I try to stay away from those topics but W talks frequently go there.)
5. You might find the intimacy gets a bit better if you do. === (Been talking about some small things. Fewer eye rolls from W. Sloooooow process. Half step foward, half step back type of thing, but sloooooowly it's working)
You don't want to go down the road I did with my H. ===(no I don't, but was to that point last year amd mentally there several times this year.)
Progress report: All of our appliances (clothes washer, dryer, and similar machines found in the kitchen are in good condition. W bought a dish washer and a new style cloth dryer last evening after I finished work. She was wanting to do this for 2 years. Sears had discontinued models ($400 off) that had a scratched glass in the door and I saw them and pointed them out to W. They get delivered monday. So now I am a good guy. W said thanks for allowing her to spend the money (they went on my CC?) with out giving her a difficult time or getting nasty. W's opinion/behavior, if something is supposed to last 10 years she is looking for a new one around the 6 year mark.
I pointed them out to her because I knew from her past history, when W is read to buy she just buys. Sometimes she does not look for sales or deals. Sometimes it's like she can't go without the item and has to have her fix today. Shopping addiction, its real.
I was thinking, "do I want to spend hundreds of dollars on C so W shops less, or would it be cheaper/less money to let W shop with an equivilent amount of money?
Come to OG Lou's used house hold goods store. Big sale today till 5PM.
Jo, I read your posts and see some things you are doing to win H back. Best wishes. I would advise you but you have a good plan in operation. I hope they all work they way you want then to play out.
