Jo -------- TTFN which is kinda cheerful --------- For me, TTFN is a friendly saying I have to go but I want to continue the relationship.
---------- I just wish sometimes that someone could be strong for me. ----------- IKWYM. Mentally I wish for that too.
In reality you and I have to make ourselves available to those around us, books, counselors, and to cyber friends that support us. I think that sometimes we look for one or two people to fill that need. I see more and more it takes many strong people, a little from each, to support us.
If it helps you, I am here to fill some of that need you have for someone to be strong for you. I can listen even if I don't have the answers you want or need at the time. I hesitate to speak for anyone else, but I am almost certain many here on DB feel the same way. I think most people first come here because they are in pain but they also have a need to help others.
I think the biggest problem is that sometimes we feel so lost or in need we overlook some of the support we are getting. I know in my life I have empathy for people in difficult situations but do not know an appropriate way to show support that the receiver can use.
Sometimes I do or say something that is taken a different way than I had in mind and all of a sudden things are going down hill. Or I said something to burst someones imaginary image of some event/person and now I am just another part of their mess.
-------------- It's a nice thought, you and TAG being at the wedding. I thought of my dad when I was there, and asked that he send some healing energy to my family (he is in the afterlife). -------------- Good Jo, being there in cyber land only is what we can do, not much but every little bit helps I hope. I see you have a silent support partner in your dad's spirit. I hope your relationship with him was mostly positive when he was alive. Make the best of it what ever it was.
I had a step dad (SD) that was very strict compared to my mother. I disliked him very much for many things. (my dad died when I was 4) When SD died, I was 17 and relieved he was dead. It took me 20 years to see he had some good traits and to get over my resentments of him. If I could talk to him to day I would say, your A, B, and C rules were hard to live with at the time and were unfair most of the times, but this is what I learned from other interactions and thank him for that. I can even see that he was right about some things I thought were totally unfair when I was 6 to 17. I could even say how I was wrong.
It toook 20 to 30 years for me to see things differently. That saying parents tell their children, "Just wait until you have kids, then you will see that I am right" is true in many cases.
I post this because I do not know what your relationship was like with your dad. I hope it was good and to say that good or strong traits in people we have encountered, can live in us past their death if we look for those good or strong traits and live them the best we can.
This post is not really about me eventhough it sounds like it is. Just suggesting there are several ways you to feel support from people around you, past and present.
It takes a good village to raise a good child. It takes a caring and supportive community for us to be strong. Let me be part of that community.
