re personal traits I am glad your H's traits are likeable to you desires. just watched a program about how a SO smells naturally, amoung other biological traits, that attracts 2 people to get married.
I see Muslim people in the U.K. and I did not want to give your H any ammunition if he was inclined to that religion or another type of belief that endorced "honor deaths" or punishments. You didn't seem like that type but I had to be sure. (sorry if I a was awfullizing things in my mind. Just wanted to cover all likely options.)
----------- We view it that we don't own them, that they didn't come from us but through us so we are like guardians till they are old enough, then they find their own spiritual path. ------------- I am comfortable with that. I am not exactly at the same place, but almost. Especially the don't owne them part and the guardians. W and I are like that with the pets. We don't own them. They are placed in our care.
I am sort of this way concerning my relationship with the woman I married. Everyone on the BB says "MY Wife" I write that way but really think "the partner I have been with" because at one time I was hers, she was mine. Not anymore. I don't own anyone so she is not "MY" wife.
I used to feel more secure in the days when I truely believed she was "my" W and I was "her" H. W working in a "Womens Issues" and personal or individual choices organization changed the way she think about our relationships, which effected how I see things.
------------ Your W would never think you were having an EA with a 27 year old! ------------- You wana bet? All she would have to see something like "I think that was sweet" in a post. It could be something like a comment about a compliment one of us gave.
I went to lunch 1X a week for 4 weeks with a guy my age. We both worked in the same auto repair shop in 1982 to 1985. W had us mentally (in her mind) living together, having sex and me dumping her. (I almost throw up when I see guys kissing and W knows that). OR Maybe that was just her way of saying she felt neglected. My eyes pop out at some of the things the W says.
One week my friend called, ( he has problems he needs to talk about too) I told him what W said and I told him if we had lunch that day I had to buy him a ring ( making humor out of the whole thing). W often sees the worst case possible in situations. See my post about KIA vs Carevan. Put KIA in the search box to find it.
Your are great to interact with. Would like to meet you, your H and children if you guys lived close. Of course not with out the "W" and your H being there too.
Reality for me "If" I ever would have an EA or something like that the lady would have to be almost my age. I think people have certain needs and wants at particular times in their lives if they want to be soul mates. I haven't gotten to the point in life where I could do something just totally for me at someone elses expence.
I read a couple of psychology books that dealt with life stages. It made cense. I have also read about May, September relationships where everything seems perfect untill some one has a serious medical problem and the healthy partner has to give up part of his/her life they should have gotten to experience. I guess being able to see it that way is called vicarious living (felt or enjoyed through imagined participation in the experience of others:) I would not want to have anyone get short changed on the life experiences they should have had.
Some things that I wrote about would not fly. Things about sex and about the innerself is a no no. W is not a prude but I am more open exploring thoughtw with others and think it's not that big a secret. W has her rules, I have mine. I try to not violate some of W's rules.
