I have 3 children; D6, D8, S10. Children are a source of happiness, even though in your situation there is a whole lot of unhappiness in not being with them. What can you do today to express your love and joy for the one that has an upcoming birthday? Make a gift, make a cake and ask if you can take it around, start a journal for each of your children on their birthday this year and write about how much you love them, their aspirations and their daily life (to be given to them when they have children).
Don't worry about TAG. We are all grownups, and when one of us is missing from the BB we all hope it is because they are having a fabulous life rather than they because are miffed with something that was posted, or because they have stopped DBing.
Current Thread Me: 39, H: 35 Kids: S14/D13/D11 1995-04 Married 2003-08 Bomb 2003-09 Separated
Well, my children were a source of joy but then rapidly became my largest source of pain (i.e 2 year custody battle, separation anxiety etc etc).
My eldest girl who will be 9, has not lived with me since she was 5 and a half, so every birthday since then has been emotional agony for me. The first year after, I didn't see her much except fleeting visits with her dad, then I had them 2 days a fortnight, then the court upped it to 3 days a week...then he won so I didn't see them for another 8 months.
I started seeing them again last Christmas. It's all so new. My eldest dd is nearly as tall as me and she likes Gareth Gates and Will Young and clothes shopping, but in my mind I still see her as a 5 year old in Kindergarten.
H is letting me have her this year - I suppose because we are dating - so I get the day with her on the 17th. I was going to take her to Lanky Bill's Fun Shack and I bought her some new shoes.
I just get scared because I think if he changes his mind about us, they'll be no more birthdays. (He would never do joint special ocassions when we were separated). I suppose I am scared of getting hurt which is why it makes me feel sad.
Anyhow, I must stop these negative thoughts, they are not doing me any good!
My SIL lost custody of her kids to her ex-H following her own worn out feelings and leaving the kids with her ex-H so she could have a break and her ex-H then filed for full custody and had the better lawyer and won. She has them back now, but I don't think she will ever forgive herself for the 2 years the kids were with him.
If you and your ex-H stop dating, would that really kill the friendship and co-parenting relationship you are slowly building up? Would there be legal grounds no for you to propose altering the custody and access arrangements?
I think you are doing fabulously and I don't doubt that you will have a new fulfilling and wonderful relationship with your ex-H. Even though you are not with your kids, you can still express your feelings of love to them (which is why I suggested the journal - I have one for each of my kids). You will need to be patient with your ex-H as he will continue to test and see if the new you is permanent. He sounds like an over-protective parent who has to learn a new reality.
Current Thread Me: 39, H: 35 Kids: S14/D13/D11 1995-04 Married 2003-08 Bomb 2003-09 Separated
Well, prior to us dating, my H always said 'I can't do just friends with you' and 'you can't go back to chit chat after you've slept with someone.'
He always tried it for a few weeks and then would want to sleep with me, and then he'd get angry at me because of his conflicting feelings.
He never let me have any say over the kids at all, not their education, medical or anything despite the fact I have PR. He just said 'I have custody' and still thinks that now.
He always said I could see them 2 days a fortnight because he was fulfilling his obligation to give me contact, but anything outside the bare minimum of what he was legally required to do, he wouldn't.
Even on my time, he would stipulate what I could do with them and then send nasty emails if I did something he didn't like.
He would never have Christmas with me etc until last year. He's a lot better now we are seeing each other and tries to listen more, but I get the impression he still thinks they are 'his' (not ours) and I know if the R were to fail (which I really hope not) he would get hurt and angry and basically stop all but minimal involvement.
I know him so well, I know this would happen. He's been running his home ed group for 18 months and I've not been once. It seems a massive gamble to take for the kids, but then I am hoping it will work as it was positive last time he visited.
The printer is a Lexmark X5150 combination printer/scanner/copier and I HATE it!!!
It doesn't feed paper through properly which is the main problem. Then it registered as being low on ink even when I've just put a new cartridge in.
And you're right, the cartridges don't last 5 minutes. I did have a laser printer but then I got a new LCD all in one entertainment system (computer, TV, radio, DVD, CD player in one) and it couldn't connect with the laser printer so I gave that printer to my friend who is a school teacher.
Shame because the laser printer was very good - really fast and the ink never ran out. My Lexmark is rubbish!
Lou, Jo needs help. I've never been a big fan of combo devices. Wouldn't she be better served to buy a printer and save the combo for those once in a while scans and copies?
