I know probably a lot of what I wrote makes no sense and wouldn't necessarily be what just anybody would call a good time but I had fun.
I have been really enjoying doing things with the shelties on weekends although I think that may be why I am feeling more disorganized and stressed over being so behind.
Then during the week I am so tired I don't get a lot done.
Tonight I am feeling really pissy, but I'm sure I'm PMSing so that always adds considerably to how I'm feeling.
But, it still really gets my feelings stirred up to read about all the shows Janice, therefore David, have been to this year and how well her dogs are doing and I think there is just no justice here at all!
I am guessing a lot of this is jealousy that she won what I couldn't keep. She lost it to me and she took it back. Now she has the money to go to the shows and David to help her train, go with her and help her pack all her cr*p in and out at the shows. Someone to sit with and talk with at the shows. Although that is something I have discovered since I have made it to some stuff alone, I usually end up finding someone to talk with and sit with, not always the same person all day but that way I meet or get to know more people better.
It IRKS me a lot! I still have sooo much anger that I am not sure how to get past. I KNOW I have to get past it to truly enjoy the rest of my life and I am the only one I am hurting by hanging onto these feelings.
Sometimes I feel a bit of letting go, but when my mind is in the mode it is in right now I just want something not good to go on in their lives.
Maybe if David and I had our loose ends tied up it would be better, I don't know about that, would hope so. But it isn't the loose ends that are upsetting me so it possibly won't help when he finally gets ready and we tie them up.
At least it helped to vent here! I feel a bit better now.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Now she has the money to go to the shows and David to help her train, go with her and help her pack all her cr*p in and out at the shows. Someone to sit with and talk with at the shows. Although that is something I have discovered since I have made it to some stuff alone, I usually end up finding someone to talk with and sit with, not always the same person all day but that way I meet or get to know more people better. 
