Maybe I was right all along and I am NOT emotionally capable of managing my own life. I don't think I'm stupid but I can't seem to keep my mind focused or to think logically. I get stressed and emotional and everything runs in circles.
Feeling sick today and I think it is stress and nerves.
Breeze had another seizure yesterday and doesn't want to eat. Plus later she had a very loose BM then that evening she threw up what I had managed to get her to eat. I owe the vet and she has been great about still taking care of my kids needs but it stresses me to owe her.
I feel overwhelmed. I think I need to go to the doctor and see if she can tell me anything to do for my elbow. It just keeps getting worse instead of better. No idea what I did to it but is getting to the point where I can't lift much with that arm.
Finances are a total mess, maybe I will get straightened out but it is hard right now to see the light. I have to pay the A that handled my divorce by May 15 in order to get the discount and no idea where I'm going to come up with that payment.
I am trying to straighten out the stresses and they are so tied together and fuzzy in my head.
I'm sure it is a lot of stress over B. Then stress over finances. I think I'm depressed because if I'm not running I seem to sleep a lot, but don't sleep well nights; especially if B is having a bad night.
I feel I need to logically think this out and have a plan and I can't seem to focus enough to do that right now.
Sorry you guys got to hear all this but pretty upset this morning. Feels better to at least share.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
