Sorry Breeze is having such a hard time. I know this is hard on you as well.
Lnl, as of Saturday, we still didn't have a new critter. Guess that mare is going to hang on to it a bit longer!
Yes, as you two probably picked up on, I haven't seen or been with H since Saturday. More later. To be honest, I'm not comfortable posting anything more. He was checking the computer to see where I had been. Anyway, I'm ok. And in all honesty, I'm much more relaxed.
Sorry for hijacking your thread Pam!
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
Remember when I went through a thread a week???????????
I am just not ready to lose B yet, but then I would never be ready.
The sheltie that had the stroke Saturday passed away on Sunday. She had lived a nice full life but it is still sad I think. The hole they leave, sort of like the hole our spouses leave and what we have left are the memories. I try now to just hang onto the good ones of D. Sometimes I think of all the times he had to be lying to me and it just turns my insides so when that happens I have to try to do some thought stopping.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Speaking of D he has not responded now to my last e-mail to him. The one I spent all of the time on trying to make sure it didn't sound pissy or jabbing.
I don't see how he can accuse me of not cooperating on getting the house sold when he can't even be civil enough to respond to a courteous e-mail.
I just try to put it out of my mind but I could sure use some money.
This month I am paying my utility bills with my credit card. That is NOT a good situation and I'm not quit sure how to dig out of the hole I am in at the moment.
If that seminar this past weekend hadn't been paid for back in January I wouldn't have went.
Focusing on less lighting, heat and water, sometimes I'm careless.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Anytime we lose a beloved (be it pet or human), there is a void. We just have to deal with it. Brings to mind that old saying " Time heals all wounds."
Don't dwell on D. Is there anything in the d decree that gives a time frame for selling the house? Lord, you would think by now it would be gone!
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
I know I just hate the void and the loss. Does anyone else have a helpless feeling when it is happening and there is nothing you can do to help?
Yes, time does heal all wounds I believe. I miss D much less now than I did and I don't dwell on him all of the time. Usually it comes to mind if I am a bit low over something else. But the kids and I really are building a new life and making new friends.
The house was to be listed immediately but I don't want to drag us back to attorney's unless there is absolutely no other option. I know he has no good feelings left for me but I still prefer if possible for it not to end really ugly. Plus going back to the attorney's would be more money that I don't have right now.
He wants to sell it too, he just wants me to do the work is my take on the sitch. But he has always been that way if it is something he doesn't want to deal with he procrastinates.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Maybe I was right all along and I am NOT emotionally capable of managing my own life. I don't think I'm stupid but I can't seem to keep my mind focused or to think logically. I get stressed and emotional and everything runs in circles.
Feeling sick today and I think it is stress and nerves.
Breeze had another seizure yesterday and doesn't want to eat. Plus later she had a very loose BM then that evening she threw up what I had managed to get her to eat. I owe the vet and she has been great about still taking care of my kids needs but it stresses me to owe her.
I feel overwhelmed. I think I need to go to the doctor and see if she can tell me anything to do for my elbow. It just keeps getting worse instead of better. No idea what I did to it but is getting to the point where I can't lift much with that arm.
Finances are a total mess, maybe I will get straightened out but it is hard right now to see the light. I have to pay the A that handled my divorce by May 15 in order to get the discount and no idea where I'm going to come up with that payment.
I am trying to straighten out the stresses and they are so tied together and fuzzy in my head.
I'm sure it is a lot of stress over B. Then stress over finances. I think I'm depressed because if I'm not running I seem to sleep a lot, but don't sleep well nights; especially if B is having a bad night.
I feel I need to logically think this out and have a plan and I can't seem to focus enough to do that right now.
Sorry you guys got to hear all this but pretty upset this morning. Feels better to at least share.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
It's one of those days, Pam, when things conspire to all point to the "empty glass" part of the dial.
Just tuck your head below the parapet and hunker down, this feeling will pass. Tell yourself that some days you WILL feel like this, whatever happens, it is called life. Pamper yourself with something conforting and things will turn around.
Try and do the first step with things like your finances. Make a list of things you can do to get them under control and then start to tackle the first thing on the list. One step at a time!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Thank you for the pep talk. It helped. I just need to remember sometimes I am going to feel overwhelmed and that to take it slowly one step at a time. Baby steps, right?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Pam - are you taking your antidepressants? If not, sounds like you need to be back on them.
Have you had your thyroid checked in the last year? If not - get it done. Thyroid problems can make you feel this way too.
How are you doing at taking care of yourself? If you aren't eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly - get started! Your brain is an organ just like your kidneys - it needs proper care and feeding to work properly!
I am still on the 50 mg dose that I had stepped it down to when trying to get off the AD's.
The doctor did check my thyroid the last visit, which I think was Dec./Jan. time frame and it was fine then.
The exercise is sparodic as I do stuff with the kids. Last week I didn't go to the grocery so food was whatever I could scrounge up. I am pretty sure I am taking better care of the shelties than I am of me.
But I want to get them on a more regular exercise routine so that should help me also. I just have to motivate myself rather than lay down and go to sleep snuggled up with the shelties.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
