Had a message on my answering machine when I got home today from a lady that was showing today who has a son out of Tara that has completed one Agility Championship and is working on a second. She told me how he did and said two of the three problem people were there today but not around there too long and she felt if I wanted to come out I could avoid them. That isn't the way I want to go though. I want to go when I feel totally confident facing them!!!

They had a beautiful day to have taken off work and went to the show. It was sunny and mid 60's here today.

I suppose I will get past this but at times I STILL very much want them both to be miserable.

I guess part of the way to get past that is to so totally focus on my own life that I don't have time to dwell on the life they are leading. I remember how happy D and I were in the beginning. We really were neither one young but did silly things and felt young because of being in love. Yes, it is the way a relationship with D made me feel that I miss. It is the selfish side of me, that I'm sure is the side that also wishes the two of them misery. Except I know they aren't miserable.

D is only unhappy when he has to have some sort of contact with me and that I haven't taken care of the house and horse sitch FOR HIM yet.

So I guess it wouldn't get me anywhere to send a hateful e-mail and ask if the two of them celebrated the anniversary of filing for their divorce's huh?

Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"