I wanted to encourage you to be as explicit as possible when talking to your wife. I have had about 2042 conversations with my husband about our sex life and STILL my euphemisms sometimes sail right over his head. At that point, I take a deep breath and say, No H I really meant xyz..... I used to just let him carry on thinking whatever he was thinkin cause I didn't want to look like a fanatic and keep talking about sex explicitly in broad daylight.
Here is an example (much more info than you need, sorry): We have not been able to have much of a sex life for the last 3 months, due to a chronic infection that I have. This past week I was reaching a point of despondency due to lack of physical touching. I had been asking my H to remember to touch me, even though it could not progress to sex but this is something he evidently has a very hard time remembering. I asked on Thursday night and Friday night, too, with netted me some absent minded light touches (approx 3) in between intriguing scenes on the movie he was watching. I felt myself getting deeper and deeper into sadness and depression--not all of it due to him, much is due to the situation itself, but I can only ask so many times before I feel like he flat out doesn't care. Anyway! By Saturday I was down and sad and feeling sorry for myself. He asked what was wrong and I attempted to explain it to him, that even though we can't have sex, I still need intimate touching in my life. Otherwise I seriously feel like a flower withering. He blamed the infection and blah blah and I said: I feel like you've gone away on vacation and I keep asking you to remember to 'call me' and you are forgetting day after day. He replies, What do you mean? I always call you...sometimes I call you a couple times a day from work, sometimes I email you...
I realized Doh! he's totally not following my brilliant analogy!! (JJ I'm not..)
So I let it drop for a few minutes, during which time I was deciding whether I should proceed with trying to tell him or let it all go. I decided to jump right back in (even though I reallllly didn't want to) because otherwise those unspoken words would turn into resentment. So I did. And this time I skipped "light" words and breezy tones and went right to the heart of the matter.
It turned out much better.
So this was a long winded way of saying to brace yourself for speaking in EXACT terms or your hard earned spot on the "floor" will be wasted.
