Holdingon
I think about you a lot too. I looked for your thread but couldn't find one. It is hard but I'm glad you are looking to the future. Hope your boys are well too.

Mojo
No he isn't very grown up but then I used to like that about him . When the bomb first dropped my gut instinct told me that he suddenly decided he didn't want what he had always said he wanted - a family with me. I still think that. He has even said to me that nothing is any different for me except that he is not there! And that it is his life that is trashed.

Anyway, this week he is even lying about being away (he still works away from home) so that he doesn't have to come round and see his son. Or maybe it is me he can't face. I know because I just saw him in town a couple of hours ago. I'm having the hardest time not calling him.

I told him to file for D so we can get all this sorted out but he isn't doing anything about it. I so don't want to file but I'm thinking maybe I have to. I'm considering applying to University to do Forensic Science with Law and I need to know exactly how much income I will have. Right now his salary is taken into account when I apply for grants or bursaries. I could go ahead and apply but then I'd need to refigure averything again when and if he does split the money.

So hands up, who thinks I should bite the bullet and file for D?

P.S. Thanks everyone for posting to me it helps a lot. I'm all over the place but trying hard not to dwell on it and just get on with life again for me and my son.