KEB, I'm sorry to hear that things aren't improving. If you need to give up, then you need to give up. Don't say there isn't hope, however.
Get yourself in peak physical condition. Start now. Sit ups, pull up, push ups, or go to the gym. Get yourself pumped up so you can start to feel good about yourself. Don't let W drag you down with her accusations. Don't start to beleive them if they are false. The more pumped up you are, the more you project that "air o' man" I don't know what kind of shape you're in, but results came quickly for me (probably because I had already dropped 25+#) Within a few weeks, I was getting bigger, and cut. Now I catch her looking at me, even though she said she isn't attracted to me.
Find the facts about OM if you can. Show her that you know what she is up to. Don't accuse, but let her know. NOP suggested the book, "Not 'Just Friends'", by Shirley Glass. W's first reaction when she saw it was a blatant whiplash type of double take. Then she scoffed a bit the next time she saw it. The third time, I know that she thumbed through it. The book will help you to sort through all the rubbish, and find some truth.
You are right KEB, you can't change her mind, but you can change yours. She can't change your mind, so don't give her that power. What will be harder on the kids?
We have a veritable smorgasboard of crap entrees here at the SSM diner. Eat 'em, compost 'em, or save 'em for later. It all comes down to the choices we make. It's like the dilution pollution solution. The more tasty good condiments we put on these dookieburgers, the quicker they disappear.
It is good to "hear" from you, even though the news isn't good. Look at your kids, and then ask yourself, "Who am I fighting for?" It won't get any eaisier when you give up.
