Keb I am sorry that this has happened. BUT one piece of advice I have is to ask her if she is really having an affair. I know it seems like it is pointing to it with the phone calls. But she may have made new friends. She may be just trying to find herself again and feeling the need to go out and get away. She may have a male friend that she is turning to for advice or even support but it may not mean it has been sexual.
I kind of feel I am at a point your wife is at right now emotionally. Nothing makes an affair right. It's the ultimate sin in a marriage in my opinion. And you are to be commended for making changes. But I do know what it feels like to have a low libido spouse. It's hurt so bad and turns you into a different person.
