KEB, Don't give up hope. Don't fake your smiles, make real ones. I KNOW how hard it is at times like these to smile, but "you gotta live in this world" regardless of who is standing next to you. Look at your beautiful children and be thankful for them, that alone should make you smile. I am not so fortunate to have kids, and the loneliness is overwhelming at times. (To bad cats can't talk )
Plan your next actions, and stick to the plan. Put some structure in your weekends if that helps. Read more books on how to like yourself. Read, "Why your life sucks" by Alan Cohen, it will make you laugh while it helps you to see the light. Like I said to W today, it all comes down to the decisions we make.
I'll stick you with a few quick qoutes from my little black book.
"We are here for no purpose unless we invent one, of that, I am sure" --Kurt Vonnegut--
"I'd like it here if I could leave and see it from a long way away" ---REM--- (maybe that one for your W)
"But in the mourning of the night, I fell in love with the light. It is so clear, I realize, that here at last I have my eyes" --Psychic TV--
"The joy that isn't shared, I've heard, dies young" --Anne Sexton--
************ When the Tao is present in the universe, horses haul manure. When the Tao is absent from the universe, War horses are bred outside the city.
There is no greater sin than desire, no greater curse than discontent, no greater misfortune than wanting something for oneself. Therefore, he who knows that enogh is enough, will always have enough.
**
A truly great man is not aware of his goodness, and is therefore good. A foolish man tries to be good, and is therefore not good.
A truly good man does nothing, yet leaves nothing undone. A foolish man is always doing, yet much remains to be done
When a truly kind man does something, he leaves nothing undone. When a just man does something, he leaves a great deal to be done. When a disciplinarian does something, and no one responds, he rolls up his sleeves in an attempt to enforce order.
Therefore, when Tao is lost there is goodness. When goodness is lost, there is kindness. When kindness is lost, there is justice. When justice is lost, there is ritual.
Now ritual is the husk of faith and loyalty, the beginning of confusion. Knowledge of the future is only a flowery trapping of the Tao. It is the beginning of folly.
Therefore, a truly great man dwells on what is real and not what is on the surface, on the fruit and not the flower. Therefore, accept the one and reject the other.
Lau Tsu - Tao Te Ching- *********
I guess all I am trying to say here is YOU need to see through the fog, if you expect to become a beacon.
)
