The caveat is on initiating the R talk. In your case, H's initiating the R talk, so it's not your bringing it up. All you want to avoid is anything that falls under the category of "pursuit". You have to be careful not to use the opportunity to let it all out. It's probably more like just listening to H talk about what he felt was missing or went wrong (that's a good thing! Listen and you'll hear what needs fixing) and you simply nodding your head and saying, "yes", "uh huh" A.K.A. validating. So try letting him do all the talking, you do all the validating. Agree even if you disagree. Don't argue. To say "I'm sorry you feel that way" is better than getting into an argument. Later when you're in reconciliation, if that happens, that's when you can roll up your sleeves and really work together on problems. Right now, use the opportunity to make love deposits into his piggy bank.
