I have been where you are, alot of us have. You have to decide what you want. No one here can do that for you. My H has told me the same thing that yours has. He can't end the A.
I have choosen to give this time for me and my children. I have taken a long look at my M and myself and the mistakes I have made. I have changed quite a bit. I am not the same person I was in Nov. when H dropped the bomb. Most people on this board are not. We have grown and changed.
Unfortunately your H is not in position to think reasonably or rationally. I read on someone's thread once about how an alien has come in and taken over their H's body, becuase the person they were seeing was not their H. We all have seen and felt that. That is why we are fighting this battle alone. We have chosen to work on our M and try to turn things around. I am not saying what our Hs did is right or justified. It is not. But I have forgiven my H and am moving on with or without him. I have seen baby steps from my H. I have detached and GAL and backed way off. I don't bring up ow or R. I don't question him. I have also seen some small baby steps and some positives.
If you do those things, you will feel better abut you and that is what is important. If your H chooses to leave, you will be okay because you have been focusing on you and not H. That is where I am at right now. I want my M to work but if H leaves tomorrow I will be okay. I wasn't that way a month ago. A month ago I would have been a basket case if H left, but my focus was on him, not me. That has changed. I have joined a gym, do things for me and the kids. My H has noticed. Read other threads, see what others are doing, how they are handling things. I have gotten lots of ideas from people here. I would be crazy without this board and support.
