I made the decision to get through March - trying one month at a time - he hasn't moved out, says he's ending it with OW through a "process" - asking me to do things with him more than ever, still separated in same house, no MC, no R talks, I'm trying 180's - but I can't stop checking his cell phone!!! My MiL told me I need to stop doing that after I told her on Saturday how hurt I was that he called OW after we spent the day together - he called her the first chance when I went to the restroom at the restaurant on the way home and then 2 hours later as soon as we got home and I took the dog out - she (MiL) said if you're going to commit to working on this for another month then you need to stop doing that to yourself. I didn't look for a couple of days, then went out of town for several, came back today and just looked - and of course, there are calls back and forth between them all day long every day. For a little while a few weeks ago there weren't any calls and I got stupidly encouraged - then the next time I looked was this Saturday when it seemed like he was focused on me and of course I got crushed again.
How do I stop myself from doing this to myself???? If I'm DBing and not allowed to talk about R or OW at all - and he will NOT bring anything up - how do I DO this? I can be going for a while, almost stable on my feet, and then get CRUSHED again, and I KNOW the chances are that I will be - how can I stop this behaviour?
