I've got some worries I'd like to get some input on. I've been lurkimg around here for some time--it helps me from slipping too much. Or does it?
Anyway, my H and I have been back together since June. At first it was a little uncomfortable but I started relaxing and I usually feel pretty good about how I contribute to our M. Lately I've been feeling a little unhappy that things didn't change very much on his end when he came home. Sometimes I think it's even worse.
H seems even more unavailable than he was before. He comes and goes as he pleases, he calls sometimes to let me know what he is doing and sometimes he doesn't. We don't do much of anything together except meet up at the same place on Friday night (always the same place), and he doesn't seem to want to be there as a couple. He's there and I'm there and he thinks that is good enough. Sometimes we don't even sit together. Many people comment on how he treats me, i.e., he doesn't even talk to you, he doesn't even sit with you, why do you even stay with him. Honestly, I try not to let that talk influence me, but it does make me wonder sometimes.
I work really hard at GAL. I have many more activities going on than I did before we separated. If I want to do something and he doesn't, I do it anyway. When he comes home late and wants dinner, I sometimes make him something, or leave him leftovers--sometimes I just tell him I didn't make dinner cuz no one was home (meaning him and my son).
Sometimes I think he tries--I make sure to let him know things he does that I like. I told him I liked it when he smiled at me across a crowded room, and I notice he does it more. He thanks me for things I do for him more often than he did.
He just seems so wrapped up in himself. He fell and fractured a bone in his arm and he went on and on about how much it hurt, how I couldn't imagine how much it hurt. It was all I could do to remind him about the broken back I had a few years back--that is pain you dumba$$!
He also started drinking just before we separated in April of last year. He'd been sober for 10 years. My first H was an alcoholic so I've been educated. I don't even talk about it. I just hope someday he will realize it's the cause of some of his problems--weight gain, fractured arm cuz he was running and tripped while drunk, DUI last year, high insurance rate, always broke, etc.
Anyway, I'm just disappointed that I worked hard, got him back, and things just don't seem to be any different. I think I have changed alot, but am I missing something?
