I just noticed that I've been on this board almost one year. My H and I mutually agreed to separate in April of 2004. Then I found out about OW and the rollercoaster ride began--man, I hate those things! He moved back in with me in June of this year. I've noticed from some threads that this is a pretty short time. Some stay separated for years.

So we have been back together for almost 4 months. At first it was uncomfortable cuz I didn't want to do anything to upset him (walking on eggshells). But I kept DBing and GAL and got more comfortable.

Today I would say things are different than they were the first 10 years we were together. But some things are the same too. The biggest difference I see is in myself. I am not so insecure anymore. I am not afraid to do things by myself and initiate activities for myself. I was out of town for work this week alone. I tried to decide what to do for breakfast--have it brought to my room or go drive thru somewhere. I didn't want to do either, but I also never went into restaurants alone to eat--too uncomfortable. Well I almost got into my car to go to a fast food spot and then thought, I really want to go up to the restaurant in the hotel and sit down and eat breakfast--so that's what I did--very proud of myself!

I have made new friends and gotten involved in more activities and volunteering. Sometimes H is involved, sometimes not. And it's ok this time.

He has made new friends and taken up golf. He plays a couple times a week--I never thought I'd see that.

So we are together but we can be apart and be comfortable with it.

I sometimes like to read my horoscope and I recently looked up the compatibility of our two signs. Well, most of what I read said it was very unlikely that our two signs would have a chance together. While I don't base my life on astrology I did find some interesting things that seemed to make sense. I am a stable, grounded and steady (stubborn?) Taurus. Don't like change much. He is a Gemini (oh, great, the twins!) who needs lots of mental stimulation and enjoys change and movement; i.e., I want to sit in peace and quiet; he wants to be out running around "doing" constantly. I appreciate loyalty, constancy and commitment and he is emotionally aloof and can't commit or follow through on intentions very well. He flies by the seat of his pants and I like to have a plan.

I think these differences drew us together. I love his sense of humor and the way he is always up to something. He loves that I am his home base when he is done for the day. But these differences in each other can also make us impatient and annoyed with each other.

Understanding these differences between us has really helped me accept who he is and who I am.

We will have our 10th anniversay next month and will be going to the beach for a few days. While I would love for it to be just the two of us having a romantic weekend together, I know that isn't realistic with him. He wants our friends to come along so he can play golf. And us wives can hang together and have a good time doing what we like. I would have been really hurt by that a year ago, but I understand now. We are different and compromise is important. Although I do most of the compromising, but that's how it's going to be in this R.

If my first H and I were still together, we'd be married 26 years. I'm sorry I didn't know then what I know now--but I guess it is all a learning experience.