Well, in my sitch my H is very social and likes to be out visiting friends a lot. I have learned to over the years to accept the fact that he probably won't be home right after work cuz he's got to be off talking about something to someone. I like to socialize but not nearly as much. I like to hang around the house and enjoy peace and quiet after work.
I was doing really good at GAL while he was gone because I needed the distraction. When he came home, I noticed I was starting to feel comfortable just hanging out at home again. I was isolating so I could make sure I was available for him. I realized this was happening and hadn't seen some of my friends for awhile and wasn't really doing anything fun for me because he might need me--before we S that would be a trigger for me to start resenting him and thinking he didn't want to be with me cuz he's out doing stuff without me and then go into the cycle of this and telling him that he wasn't spending time with me, he must not want me, why is he here if he isn't going to spend time with me, blah, blah, blah! So this time I feel that coming on and that is my cue to get out and do something myself. We do spend time together, but he is seriously a social "butterfly" and likes his time and freedom to "fly" around to all his hangouts and friends when he wants to.
So, I'm not sure where the balance is but I do know myself better now and I know when I need to get out and GAL without him. He really wants me to do that. I don't "need" him to be my entertainment--I can do things for myself. I am confident enough to be away from him.
I guess how GAL fits into our lives is individual for each of our personalities and situations. It does take confidence, trust and sometimes a little courage.
That's kind of a rambling post so I hope you can find something helpful in it
