Hi Molliew, I am glad I found your post. My H and I have been sepertated almost 5 months. The first like 3 I was chasing him like crazy. I made things much much worse then they were. At the begining he told me he wanted to leave and see if he missed me and wanted to come back, then I went into freak out mode and he wanted a D. I felt like I was seriously going crazy and my family didn't help me think otherwise. I bought DB and DR, and a couple other books. I seem to struggle with putting them into effect. I found out a couple weeks ago (through pics on my digital camera H had that i took back) that he is having an A. The inital shock to that wasnt as bad as I thought, and I decided that very day I found out that I was going to let him do his thing, I was going to let him go, but I was not going to move on. I was going to keep "fighting" for my marriage and family. I was going to love him unconditionally, and forgive him. I was going to be his friend and become as attractive (all around not just physically, everyone says they love me because of my heart, so i guess that is my secret weapon here) as I could be so that I may become desirable to him again. It has been a long road, and my stomach isnt like the roller coaster ride at all. But I have finally put the trust I needed to put in God in Him. And since I have done this most all of my hear has gone away. I love reading posts where people's S's come back. I can't wait until mine happens. I wont really let myself believe it wont happen, espically since I feel soo strongly in my heart that it will. Is this a good thing or a bad thing that I wont think otherwise? One thing I was thinking when I was reading your previous post was that maybe you could suprise him and go snuggle him, or give him a kiss on the cheek or something. Just see what he does. But I am not sure asking him about it would be a good thing. I would be afraid to have things go back to not good, when things were starting to get better. I saw you said you were seperated for 11months, so I am only at almost 5. Sigh. Hopefully I can do this! I have NO clue how to compete w/ OW espically since he spends all time w/ her and no time w/ me. Any suggestions???
