Journaling: This morning is starting out all wrong. Today is H's birthday and I gave him a little surprise party last night with lots of his friends. It was just perfect--he loved it and thanked me for doing it.
But this morning...unfortunately my snoring kept him awake a lot last night and he was a bit grumpy this morning. I got up and went to make him breakfast cuz I thought he would like that for his b-day. Well, turns out he wanted to get some more sleep and he was expressing a little agitation that I was bugging him with breakfast and making noise. Well I got hurt feelings and told him jokingly that he was being mean when I was trying to do something nice for him. He just glared at me like only he can. So I went and thought about it for a few minutes. I wanted to take it personally and let him know he was being a jerk about it. But then I realized that is just going to start a fight and really I was making it all about me then. So I decided to apologize. I told him I was sorry for forcing breakfast on him when he really just wanted to sleep. I had made a mistake thinking he'd want to eat instead of sleep. He said he forgave me.
I've just been beating myself up over it all morning. He's probably not even thinking about it now. But I'm feeling like a failure--I hate that. He just left for the day. I might see him tonight for a few minutes but he's going to be busy. Probably better that way cuz I'd be running around him trying to fix what I did and he'd be going nuts. Why can't it just be nice and rosy everyday?!
