Thanks Andrea and Hopeful. It helps to know someone else is going through this too. I appreciate the comments about identifying his changes. I am working on this. They are small but I know it is all he can do right now and I am grateful. He came home last night and asked if I wanted to go out for a bit--he hasn't done that in years! We went down the road to the tavern and had a beer and played the electronic golf game. Had a great time! It was a little thing, but big too.
I totally know the clingy needy stuff. I really wanted to get a hug this morning before he went to work. He isn't really a touchy kinda guy so I know that pressures him so I didn't do it. Although I think I could have asked and he would have been ok with it. And yes it would have been to meet my own need but I think that's ok once in awhile if we ask instead of just trying to take.
I am guilty of trying to have that "bottomless" reassurance need met and I know it. I've got to work hard on taking care of that another way.
The reminder to put myself in his shoes helps too. It is really important to try to see things from the other's point of view--it makes a difference.
