Slowly--well, readjustment is a little uncomfortable for me at times and I think it's because I'm working hard at not going back to the way it was. It's like some magnetic force is trying to pull me back to my old ways and I'm kinda struggling. But being aware that it is happening helps me keep things in check.
I keep coming here and reminding myself what I need to be doing. I am trying hard not to focus on what he is doing and letting myself get sucked back in to that feeling of being a victim whenever he doesn't do just what I think he should.
This morning I am fighting my obsession over why he doesn't wear his ring. I was at first worried that he had lost it, but I have seen it now so I know it is there. He said he would wear it eventually, but my curious mind wants to know why not now. I've already asked him if he's going to wear it, so I really think I need to leave it alone now. I could go into analyzing the situation and coming up with lots of theories why he doesn't wear it, but that isn't doing me any good and just starts the crazy making! I do wear mine so I guess I just have to be patient and see what happens.
It is hard when they are right there with you. Last night he was watching tv and was very quiet. I kept wanting to ask what was wrong but I know that is just me trying to personalize what is going on with him, and it's not about me! I keep remembering what eyesopened said about men's minds shut down in the evening. She read that somewhere. When they are sitting watching tv, they are winding down and they aren't thinking about stuff like women are. So I just remind myself that must be what is going on.
So I will just keep working at it. I know he wouldn't be there if he didn't want to be. I've just got to keep kicking that rope away from myself--sometimes I want to grab it so bad! PATIENCE!
