The first one (and my bad if you've already answered this elsewhere): what EXACTLY do you mean by his inability to "satisfy" you? Do you mean inability or flat refusal? I seem to have lost track of the point somewhere along the line. I know you're upset about his MB, especially when he turns you down for sex. I agree that he sounds depressed.
Regarding the daughter: I think it is VERY important that you both make her understand that your R with your H is between the two of you only. Any decisions made regarding the R will be made by the two adults. Period. Her telling you how she will react if you D, or her trying to bring you back together, or her feeling that she has any responsibility AT ALL for your R must be nipped in the bud.
WHY? Because if you let her get the idea that she has any responsibility for the R, then she will feel to BLAME if things don't work out. You must tell her that hearing that she will be angry and retaliate if you D makes you sad, but that you can't let her hold either of you hostage like that, because then she would share in the responsibility and that would not be right. Tell her you will not permit her to place that burden on herself. That you and H care about her and that will never change, but some things are outside her control.
You don't want her to be saying to herself at any point down the road: "If only I had done/said this or that, they wouldn't have divorced." Or if you stay together and are utterly miserable, "If only I had let them D, they wouldn't be so unhappy now."
I think you will do her the biggest favor if you let her know that you understand how strongly she feels, but this is too big a decision for you and H to share with anyone. If there is to be any blame down the road, it must be yours and his alone.
