Quote: "I love you and I'm committed to you but sometimes I miss being single"
Doesn't everyone feel this to some degree, especially when things are going badly?
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
ABSOLFREAKINLOUTELY! I know I did. Heck I'm married and pretty happy at this point...and there are still times I long for those good ole single gal days.
I wouldn't trade what I have now, but every now and then...
You know when I confronted him about saying that to our daughter he defended it.
To me, that's a red flag about his character in general.
Quote:
He said the conversation started because my daughter sensed that our marriage was in trouble. She was worried because her bio father she is not close to. My husband has been the only daddy she has ever known. So she started by asking about the relationship.
He should've just given a generic reply without all the details, but you already know this.
Quote:
I am still trying to ask her about all that was said. But I think he was giving her the impression that I may be cheating on him.
I think it's important to try to find out everything your H and D have been saying to each other if you can. I'm sure it won't be easy though. If for nothing else, for the protection of your D, and your relationship with your D. He's not the BIO dad, is that correct? DO NOT let him destroy your relationship with her.
I'm sorry if I come off as too blunt Cally, but from what I can read in what you posted about him, I sense that there is way more than just a MB versus Sex Starved Marriage issue here.
I can't speak for the character of your H and the dynamics of your relationship with him, only you really know your H. But I just sense something really 'sinister', (for lack of a better word), in him in the way he relates to you. The roaming around AFF, the comments to you, the comments to your D....a very controlling, manipulating type way. If I'm way off, please say so and I'll shut up.
I doubt, (based on what you posted) that you would have any luck getting him to participate, but have you considered professional counseling to help put your relationship with him in perceptive?
I appreciate your speaking up. The whole situation has my flags at full gale warning.
I agree with your advice to cally. It is time she had a serious look-see and some professional counseling.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
He's not the BIO dad, is that correct? DO NOT let him destroy your relationship with her.
No he is not her bio dad. But he might as well be. Her real dad is a piece of crap alcoholic. Since divorcing he doesn't have much contact at all. My current husband has been with us since daughter was 3. My husband has been a great dad to her. That is one thing about his character and heart I do really respect. He has loved her just like his own. He doesn't treat them differently even though our other two are his bio kid's. He has been there for my daughter through everything. Even though I know his comment was way off base, I don't think he would ever harm them. His stomach just turns when he hears about some sicko harming children. But he is not using good judgement with the things he is talking about.
I do believe my husband is very controling. Not to a sick point like where he controls my every move. But he has a HUGE problem with admitting fault. He puts blame on everyone for everything. His dad is the same way. He thinks he is always right.
You know like just the other night when we got into that arguement you would think he would have appologized for his behavior. But that is beneath him.
You are right I do think I need to seek out counseling. He has really done damage to me.
As for the relationship with my daughter I don't think he could ever destroy it. We are so close and talk about everything.
I've been a little busy, kind of missed your thread for a while, but I just wanted to jump in here to echo what JandJ and Nopkins has said.
In addition to the convo with your daughter (which is a very big red flag), these also jumped out at me:
Quote: Well, I did confront him and it led to a huge blow up. He said he only looked at this site to see if I was watching what he was doing on the web. Seems like a weird and lame excuse. My husband doesn't like to be wrong about anything. So therefore if he has done something he often will lie right to my face. He tries to turn the tables onto me and pout me to blame for everything in our marriage.
Like paying bills he claims he don't like the way I do it. So I told him by all means take it over. Then he will have an excuse for that. Our kid's are in school and he wanted me to work. So I got a job and he complains about that. It's not enough hours, not enough pay. Well, I was out of the work force for a long time raising our children. I have to start somewhere and gain experience and a work history again. Mean time I can look for something better. But it's a start and I was proud of myself. But he puts me down.
DO take Nopkins advice, and get some profesional help - for yourself. Even if your H would agree to go, I really suggest you go yourself first.
I don't want to scare you, but you might do well to try your local DV center. They will be able to refer you to a C who knows how to deal with situations like this.
(((((((cally))))))))) Take care of yourself, and your kids.
Since divorcing he doesn't have much contact at all. My current husband has been with us since daughter was 3. My husband has been a great dad to her. That is one thing about his character and heart I do really respect. He has loved her just like his own. He doesn't treat them differently even though our other two are his bio kid's. He has been there for my daughter through everything. Even though I know his comment was way off base, I don't think he would ever harm them. His stomach just turns when he hears about some sicko harming children. But he is not using good judgement with the things he is talking about.