Explain something to me cause I'm failing to understand. I may be way off base in my thinking on this...wouldn't be the first time! I'm a bit bothered by some of what Dave says but not because I think it is a moral issue. What Dave and his wife decide to do for themselve or in their marriage is their business and I can't judge them for their choices. You said...
Quote: Not every relationship can handle what Dave is discussing. There are some people on this planet who HAVE to be FUSED to their spouse because they can not or will not take the time to fix themselves on the inside.
Dave has openly admitted that the bar games he plays is an attempt to deal with some insecurities he has. It helps him feel good to go to a bar and get the attention of attractive females. He wants to be pursued because the pursuit helps him feel better about himself.
How does Dave playing these games in bars equate to him being fixed internally? Isn't he out with singles in bars, getting what he can't get at home because he is unable to come to term with his own insecurities?
It all sounds good on the surface. I mean, hell, if you have a couple who are secure in who they are and what they have together and neither one has a problem with this kind of activity then, so be it. I don't see that as being the situation here.
The same insecurities in himself that were causing some of the issues with his wife are the reason he is out in bars. So, he has been able to differentiate from his wife because he can now go out and get the attention in bars that he wasn't getting at home.
I'm not sure that, that behavior is a behavior that is going to strengthen his marriage or, in anyway enable him to work on what is going on inside himself. Truthfully, it seems to be a cop out and an excuse for not focusing on the actual work that needs to be done to strengthen his internal problems and, in turn his marriage. Cathy
