I hear what you are saying, but I am talking about basic marital boundaries here.
My boundary on this matter is simple. It is true that MrsNOP, should she be so inclined, can use her sexuality in any way she sees fit. If she uses it beyond my stated boundary, whatever that might be, then she will find herself doing without a relationship to me. She has similar boundaries for me.
So, setting a reasonable boundary, negotiated between both spouses, becomes really important to the health of the marriage.
Non-negotiated boundaries can be troublesome in a relationship, even though a few are necessary to the basic health of the relationship.
Utilizing your sexuality outside of negotiated boundaries is a big no-no. If there are no negotiated boundaries regarding sex in a relationship, then you need to get some quick. Otherwise, you may find yourself, or your wife, in a relationship outside the confines of your relationship.
Boundaries are not fusion. Boundaries are a necessity in any relationship, not just marriage.
Let me give you an example of a behavior you engaged in fairly recently that wouldn't work in my relationship.
You went 'shopping' in a bar. Does your wife know about your 'experiment' or how you spent your time there? Would she approve? How would you feel if she had gone to a bar and experimented at getting picked up, or even 'just noticed' by a guy or four? What are your boundaries?
I don't know about you, but for me, it is my responsibility to behave in a relationally responsible manner. I do so out of respect for my wife, and our marriage, and myself.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
