Quote: discern feelings from behaviors and to learn what things are part of the relational system vs.
I think that is one of the most important things I have learned...behind every action is an emotion. The action isn't going to stop until the emotion is identified and dealt with.
I'm not saying overlook his actions, especially if they disrespect you and your marriage. I just think that once we internalize the idea that a behavior in someone may not be representative of what that person is actually feeling.
GEL, I can certainly understand why him looking so close to home would be upsetting. It could be a sign that he is on the verge of looking outside the marriage AND himself to find answers for his problems. That is not a good thing.
I do know that the 'idea' that these women are close may be something that turns him on and that, that 'idea' may be all that is at play here. He may not have any intentions of ever contacting any of them. Only he knows that and only he knows what is driving his desire to look.
He is playing with fire and doing damge to his marriage and his wife. I just still feel it would be counter-productive for cally not take into consideration that there might be a reason behind his behavior that has nothing to do with her at all....his desire for her, his love for her or anything. Cathy
