I want to try and put my own spin what Dave said. Maybe say it in a different way.

If your husband has a really low sex drive then it is going to take more than the norm to get his motor humming. My ex had low testosterone. At times it took pictures or stories to get him going.

If you aren't pretty secure with who you are as a woman this can be hurtful. What I realized with my ex is that once his motor got humming it was me he wanted. How he got it humming didn't matter as long as I was the one he wanted to play with once it was humming.

If there is depression on top of a low drive then you are dealing with someone who not only needs more to get humming, he is also feeling less enthusiastic about the act of love making.

It seems to me that, right now, your husband views sex as a release and nothing more. It's not a way to connect with you or show intimacy toward you. These are things I saw in my ex when he was depressed.

If you have ever suffered from depression you will understand. It's like sitting around knowing you are hungry, knowing you would love a steak but settling for a peanut butter sandwich because it is easier. To a depressed man who is looking for the physical relief of sex, masturbation in the shower is so much easier than coming up with the motivation to make love with his wife.

The dating site he was looking at may be of interest to him because the women on it are real. He may get more out of looking at images of woman he knows are real compared to the typical cookie cutter web porn he can find. There could be more than one reason he was on this site and it might not have anything to do with actually wanting to meet these women.

That being said, I do believe he needs to be talked to. I also believe you need to keep an open mind, try and go into a conversation with him about his behavior able to see it from his perspective.

The thing I have learned throughout all my experience with a low drive man is this...there are many facets to their feelings and you won't get anywhere until you can get them to open up and share their feelings. That isn't easy when you are talking men and their sex drives.

Talk to him just don't go in with a formed, definite opinion as to what he is up to. You don't know that for sure until he tells you and he isn't going to tell you anything if you are on the attack.
Cathy