Cultivating Self Love

[Livnlearn]

I also might advise not to invite your H, don't let him detract from your special day.

Well, I sent out a general invite to folks and many cannot make it due to prior arrangments - I might do something else with just a few folk instead, let's see.

I know that when I recently had my 40th that I decided to leave my H out. Including him would have left me concerned about him, what he thought, pleasing him, blah blah blah.

Belated birthday greetings to you, Pamila!

I'm afraid these days I am more concerned about H ringing and wanting to come down to stay or some such. I am wondering how to 'handle' him now. How to refuse him gracefully.

As it was I got nothing from him, no card, no flowers, no nothing and this was my 40th mind you. He said he had no $, what a bunch of crap, the dollar store sells cards for 50 cents for goodness sakes. But all that would have required him thinking about someone besides himself for a change.

Well, H told me he was ordering a video for me from amazon for my birthday. Let's see if he acknowledges it at all. I have come to realise that H is a lot about effect and less about action. Talking about stuff gets him Brownie points, even though he often doesn't follow through.

I hate this in myself, and when I do say I will do something and then don't it weighs on my mind terribly until I do it.

It's your turn. Have a great time and leave him out of the group celebration for now. If he does want to do something for your B'day make it the three of you or the two of you, not anything more than that.

I was thinking that. At most, just the three of us one weekday lunch.

Livnlearn