Wow, you had such an incredible post! It was such a "lightbulb" moment for me.
I, too, am living with a narccist. He never seem too concerned with me at all when I became sick, etc. In fact, when I had nose surgery last year he went to sleep in another room. When I woke up, very disoriented and in pain, he said to me casually, why don't you just take another pill?
Well, I think deep down in my heart I thought I deserved that kind of treatmet, thinkin I was weak if I asked for more help. H always said I was too sensitive, complained that I was always sick, etc. I think my need for attention manifested into internal self doubt. I was constantly worried about my health, what I was doing "wrong" in the realtionship, etc..Eventually, I started to have a lot of outside interests to fill that emotional void I was getting at home.
You sound so incredibely grounded, LnL..I am so proud of you. You have come to a place of acceptance and peace that most people would love to be.
Forgive yourself for getting angry with D. I know exactly how you feel. My S has been acting up quite a bit lately. Although, they are going through a rough time as well, it is important we maintain discipline and boundaries for the kids. In turn, your D will appreciate it that you were more of a mother to her than a friend. That is what the children need right now. A shoulder to cry on and boundaries to be set, no matter the situation.
I certainly hope you had a good day. It seems like you are in a very good place right now. Good for you!
