Watch, as I attempt the notoriously dangerous alien mind-reading trick! (Do NOT try this at home )
Quote: This evening, H rang. First, he mentioned ordering a video for me, one that he was going to get me ages ago, but there was some problem about the format and its compatability with my player. Anyway, he said it was ordered, and would arrive in time for my birthday. Well, knock me down with a feather - he remembered that my birthday is coming up? I was wondering whether he would even notice.
Quote: He emailed again, to apologise for her coming down early as it was more conventient, liftwise.
That must be a first, emailing to apologise for something I have not even made a comment about
Quote: Then he asked me about how long I had stayed with the friends in the hills. When I told him, he said, oh, I thought you would stay up the whole time, not just a couple of days. Again, why would he care???
Wild guesses here, but - imagine, for a moment, that he HAD had intentions of having you up over the break. Then OW barges in. And you inform him you have other plans. Fun-sounding plans. So. he's stuck there with clingy OW, wondering about you and all the fun you are having (and Hmmm - you were home part of that time and hadn't asked to come up to his place during that time? Maybe he's feeling he missed yet another opportunity to have you up? Could you even have - God forbid! - come home to go on a DATE with some MAN while he was stuck with OW????)
And so - you being busy GAL, doing fun things, NOT clinging or asking what happened to the Easter invite - blowing his image of you desperately waiting for him - seems to be getting the results of him remembering yourbirthday AND apologizing for something!
OW2 lives in another country hundreds of (a thousand?) miles away. I think her being there must have had something to do with H wanting her there???
God knows what is going on between the two of them, but I have stopped trying to speculate.
All I know from my end is that I don't think I want 'friendship' as such. I am happy for us to do certain things together with D, but I won't pretend that friendship alone is perfectly OK with me in the long term.
How many separated or divorced couples truly manage friendship in the long term, I wonder? Not many that I know.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
I emailed H today about this weekend's plans - confirming that D is going up again.
Then also asked if I could have D two weekends in a row in May, when my sister comes over to visit. All couched in friendly language, basically asking for his confirmation or agreement.
H just rang me, to say he had received the email. Said it was fine by him.
Then said he was coming down to the city tomorrow to see the accountant (that's funny, I thought that was last week, LOL!! ) and then he planned to take D out of school for lunch. I said, fine!
He then asked, did I want to come?
Folks, as you know, I have spent the last eighteen months hanging onto his every (sporadic) invite... but this time I said, well, I 'm a little busy tomorrow, so I think I need to just carry on with what I have to do... but thanks!
God knows what I think, I AM tired of the jerking around stuff, though.
No meanness on my part, I'm just going to be a little harder to get.
Older guy is keen to take me out Sunday for a meal! I'll call it a pleasant time out and LANGUAGE PRACTICE!
Livnlearn
PS No, no, the suspicion that H is seeing OW2 off at the station/airport tomorrow has NOT crossed my mind, perish the thought!
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
H just called again. Wants to know if I can send him up an ingredient that is used in a dish that I make. It is the only 'proper' dish he learnt to make in our ten years together. (The rest of his cooking is EXTREMELY basic.) The ingredient needs to be got from a specialist shop.
I admit I felt a great surge of irritation that H still sees me as the one to turn to for little favours like that.
It's OK to call me a b*tch one week and then ask me to send up stuff the next?
Please tell me what this is all about, folks.
I said I would send up the stuff with D, but I sounded slightly underenthusiastic, I admit, sort of distracted.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
My absolutely natural instinct would be to cheerfully send H the ingredient. It is how I am, kind of helpful when it is within my power to be so, and also eager to please. One way I 'loved' H was to cook him fab meals. It is what I can do well, and a way of showing him that I love him.
But I have been feeling so darn USED of late...
Is it healthy to go on giving and being obliging in the face of such rotten treatment and indifference?
Thoughts?
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Ooooh, I should take lessons from the likes of you on how to detach - or at least sound detached. You are doing so well. Here I am just sitting around waiting w/ desperation for H to come over. Got to admit that sometimes I have been able to simply walk out the door to "something else" when he hasn't followed through.
I'm going to keep tabs on you because it sounds to me like your H is anxious to see what you're doing.
It still amazes me how our WAS's suddenly get interested (or seem to) just when we show disinterest. Oy!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
)
) and then he planned to take D out of school for lunch. I said, fine!
