I see some similarities between my H and what you are describing, although not to the same degree.
Since I discovered the A I have read many many books trying to figure out what made him tick, his personality and childhood issues, mlc issues, depression issues.
I finally just had to give up reading all those books about HIM and his issues and concentrate on my own stuff. Although they maybe made me see and understand him better they also made me want to change him or think that if he changed then everything would be all good. And once again I can't change him, can't count on his changing himself or even wanting to or seeing the need.
And then I end up wrestling with the idea, well when I married him he wasn't wonder man, is it fair to now superimpose my wants and desires on top of him? I am sure that he likewise had disappoints with me too. But the thing of it is that all of that was a lot easier to overlook when I was getting love and feeling loved. I have not really felt any of that in over 2 years now.
