It does seem to me, that at this point, the only thing to do is to move forward with your life. Your H needs to see and feel the real consequences of his actions - including seeing you with other men, hearing his D talk about your male friends, etc. - before he'll ever wake up out of all this, I'm afraid. And even then - he MAY not - because, as you have noted, this behavior is really not too inconsistent with who he was BEFORE the affairs, unlike many of our h's.
Having said that - who knows what the story is with OW2. Maybe she's back hounding him and clinging to him, and he'll tire of her, while he sees you moving forward, having fun with your friends, etc. Don't ASSume things - just detach, move forward with your life AS IF he's not coming back - leave that door open but quit waiting. He can't miss you until you drop that rope.
