Hi LnL - I'm sorry you have had such a rough morning with H - he really does not seem to be a happy bunny, does he? Some of the dynamics here remind me of the challenges I have with NG.
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I gave him a couple of items of his post that had arrived here in the last few days. I asked him to please have the address at the bank changed to his current address. He looked at me with great hatred, and said, I still own half of that house and I don't see why my post shouldn't go there.

Sweetie, it does sound like you set yourself up for that retort I see two options in this situation. Let the post come as it does, and let him pick it up when he remembers. No, it is not your responsibility to carry it to him, or be accountable if something goes amiss. Or, if you really feel strongly about his post not coming to your home, then just return to sender, or as he suggested, put it in the bin.

This reminds me of the issues NG and I used to have over his laundry. The guy is a lovable slob, and I used to enjoy being the martyr, picking up after him, and sometimes, feeling resentful that he is not pulling his weight around the place, yada yada yada. And the arguments over why he does not go to the dry cleaners, him hollering to ask me where his socks, vest, etc was. Well, a few months ago I decided that is not a job I want anymore. so we now have a mountain of his panst, shirts on the bench in the changing room. If his laundry is put in the basket, I'll load it in the wash, and the cleaner will iron it. Otherwise, his clothes stay where they are. We no longer argue about laundry, I'm happy, and he is less than immaculate, but apparently happy too Choosing my battles has been one of the most important learnings...

I know what you mean about them getting nasty when we stick up for ourselves. I guess in my case, I found there are different, more subtle but nevertheless determined ways in which I can define my boundaries. Smiling while I do it seems to go down better with NG

Hope the day improves, LnL. Slowly

A Liberal Allowance of Time