Wow, you have taken the giant bungee leap off the cliff, haven't you? You seem to have a good handle on what you need to do to start living life for you and your D, and it's looking like you are happier with this notion.
I don't know about you, but every so often I go through a period of analyzing the souls in my inner circle--figuring out who is a friend (and what that means, because my definition seems to evolve as I get older) and who is an acquaintance and who is neither. I used to feel bad about it, but no longer do. Because the fact is, we've often outgrown each other and it's time to have less expectations of others and time to fill my calendar with people who bring me gifts and lessons (and vice versa).
Have you seen this piece before?
People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed . They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally , or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up h! as been answered, and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
I've received it a few times over the past few years, and have learned to embrace this concept. I've found it to be very true.
Be careful when going back and doing the post mortem on your M. I've found firsthand that if I spend any more time on it than I need to, it's a resentment builder. Touch on it to learn and establish newer and healthier boundaries, but give yourself some slack for choosing to love him the way he is/was and for wanting to keep your family together for your D. It's okay to feel all the things you are feeling as you do this, just make sure you don't let it sit too long. KWIM?
Now, time to get busy doing things that you want to do and that make you happy, and watching all the movies that you want to watch too!
Hugs!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
