I can totally empathize with you regarding the issue of our H's spending time with the kids and making plans to do so, so that we can make our plans.
Quote: H said, if it comes to it, I could come down and fetch her. I said great, when? (Meaning which day?)
H got really angry and started to say, OK, at exactly 11.15 ... (in a very sarcastic way)
I said, I meant which day at least? (Thursday? Friday? Saturday?)
He just put the phone down.
He is calling ME avoidant?
I struggle with this in a big way. My H wants to spend time with the boys, but he NEVER wants to decide this ahead of time. His idea of notice is to call at 4:30 on Friday and say that he is on the way to pick them up. Sometimes he has them two weekends in a row, sometimes 3 weeks will go by w/o him keeping them overnight.
ANY attempt, and I do mean Any attempt on my part ends up in a fight, with him saying that I am too rigid, that he likes to just take life as it comes, enjoy his freedom, etc.
It is nauseating, but I think it is sort of like a power thing now, because if I do say something it is like I run the risk of him deciding not to take them at all just because he wants to tick me off.
I don't like the situation at all, but I can't seem to summon up the energy to do anything about it. I also have to be flexible because H travels frequently and is gone over the weekends sometimes. So basically he gets the boys when he wants them, when he decides he wants them. It is a heck of a way to live.
This morning I am taking them to go camping with the boys scouts, they wont be back until noon tomorrow. Since this event has been on the calendar for a while I was actually able to make plans for once. I have a friend coming over for dinner.
