H rang during today to tell me abut a dream he had last night. He said it was a variation of a dream he has had since childhood, about being up on a high ledge of a building or something similar, and falling. Only this time there was a maintenance ladder and some wires, and he was able to 'move around in safety', he didn't fall or feel any fear.
He also informed me he had got over his long held fear of the dark during the past two years up in his place in the mountains. His fear of being in the dark on his own.
[I am beginning to think that my H's running had more to do with his fear that I might not be there for him, rather than the other way around.
There were many things about how he behaved that annoyed or disappointed me, and I used to get angry and yell at him about them. Some times I would yell, "I can't go on like this" or "Don't think I will put up with this for ever". It was an expression of my exasperation with him or the situation. My crying out for the need to be heard over certain issues. My unwillingness to accept certain bad behaviour. Not the most constructive way to go about things, I am sure. More likely to drive him away from horrible ranting Livnlearn.
I never feared he would leave me. Yet when someone said to me that my H was very dependent on me, I was surprised, thinking that he seemed rather independent.
On the other hand he probably never felt much belonging in his life. I thought I was providing that. Being there, being his friend, being a constant in his life, making a home, a refuge, etc.
But also being demanding and critical.]
Anyway, at the end of the conversation, he said he had to go for a walk with the dog. I asked, what dog? He said, w3's dog.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
