I can totally relate to what you are saying regarding your H and the one-sideedness of your whole R.
Quote: It set me thinking about how precariously I am positioned being here without H part of our family.
I got to thinking how even before all this happened, I used to fear if something really bad happened to me, that H might not be there for me. Do I want someone like THAT back in my life? Is it just wishful thinking that H will EVER come to terms with the responsibilities in his life? If he already sees himself as having given too much, what hope is there for a more giving H? Who wants someone who is working on developing their cruel side???
I am also tired of the one sided nature of all my interactions with H. It's all about H. What he is working on, what he has bought, what he thinks about A, B and C etc. He doesn't express much interest in me and my life, except for wanting my feedback on his work.
No, I am not goig to just blow up all of my hard work, I will still treat H as a friend, but perhaps not be quite as available. I can aleady sense some pulling back from him in the past few weeks. The eye contact is direct, but he's not really seeing Livnlearn. He is back to talking exclusively about wanting to speak to/see D, not me.
My husband also is working on his cruelty to me. Around the 20th of Feb I told him that we (I) had no $ to pay our March bills. And he told me literally "too bad." Then he told me rather sarcastically that I needed to 'pray." That is a direct slam to me as he now is taking the line that God was never there for him, so phoey on God.
So he shows up on March the 9th with a check for me to pay the bills, saying "I had the $ all along, I just wanted you to know what it felt like not to have any $."
What a jerk.
I need a new marriage as I cannot, will not, refuse to go back to this sort of thing.
