Hi SD and Pam,

Thanks for your encouragement!

A package which H has been waiting for arrived here today (just after he left) so I rang him to tell him about it. We chatted for a bit, then he asked me to open it and ring back to tell him about the contents. I said OK, then got sidetracked.

He rang much later to ask about it. I told him I still hadn't opened it! We talked about other stuff. H says he wants D for the whole Easter break, if possible (five days) and he will let me know about logistics after the landlords have been up this weekend.

I rang back after opening the parcel, we chatted about its contents, then I told H the dates of the Easter hols and said I would like to know the plan well before the break so I can organise myself too. It is hard to say this to H without him taking it as a criticism (hmmm, why would that be?? ) and he replied, impatiently, yes yes, I'll let you know after this weekend. D, by the way, will go up next weekend as originally planned.

As for my Easter plans - I can either go and stay with some other friends in the hills, if that is still on. I may even cycle up there. I might also suggest to H that I cycle over to his place one day, and leave it up to him to invite me overnight, if he feels inclined. Or I might not.

Then, I have a couple who are cycling around this country coming to stay a couple of nights as well, so I will maybe cycle one day with them!

I am doing this for myself - haven't cycled seriously in AGES, and it should be great fun, and help me get a little fitter. The cycling would be mostly in the mountains. A 'side benefit' might be that H's interest is piqued, seeing as we first started out as cycling buddies.

OK, now here's another thing. Today, by sheer coincidence, I spoke to two friends of mine on the telephone, both of whom I have not been in touch with much in the past couple of years. Bear in mind they were not close friends, but really 'nice' women who I am very fond of.

Friend #1 is much older than myself. We used to go on walks together to practice English and local language in an exchange of convos. She had left her H years ago. Grown up kids. She told me she had a 'lover' who was rather younger than her, who was married. This convo was way back before my world fell apart. I felt uncomfortable, and asked her - doesn't it matter to you that he is married? She answered, well, it is between him and his wife, I am not married to either of them. (I couldn't get my head around this notion, but sooooo many people are perfectly 'nice' and still feel this way...) Guy never intended to leave his wife, but talked to my friend about buying a house in the hills together. I sort of just stayed off that topic in future, and then we drifted apart over the years, for no other reason (on my part) than lack of time.

Today she tells me, that his wife died last year of cancer, and she had thought after all these years it would be the time for the two of them to draw closer. The opposite has happened. He has got involved with a foreign woman, been to her country etc. Still in almost daily touch with my friend, but she is finding things 'difficult' and is in pain.

We are meeting up next week, and will no doubt talk about it.

Friend #2. She is single and in her late thirties. About three years ago she found herself a boyfriend, whom she evidently adored. I never met him, he lived in a town quite far away, they saw each other on weekends. As is common among 'available' folk of this age, he was separated/divorced with a young child. I assumed his wife and marriage were 'history'.

Friend falls pregnant last year, then boyfriend seems to be backing off... friend had baby early this year, boyfriend seems to have halted the divorce proceedings and is living(?) with his wife! As far as I know, friend was not deliberately going out with a married man, no doubt she was fed the line that 'the marriage was over'. She is finding out the painfully hard way that it's not over till it's over, and even THEN it may not be over, like, really over.

I will probably be seeing her this weekend, and will find out more.

Livnlearn

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates