I am so glad you posted to me as I have been reading your recent threads and was trying to put on paper the words that I wanted to share with you cause I see lots of hope in your situation. So here goes…my circumstances are very much similar to yours, very similar!! My H’s ow has used every trick in the book, every freaking lousy trick in the BOOK!! Yet nothing has changed, she hasn’t succeeded, my H is still at home.
Quote: “Though they intend evil against Thee, and devise a plot, they will not succeed, for in their own snare their foot has been caught”
I’m learning to keep my eyes off from my circumstances, cause when I do look at them, I can’t believe I’m still hanging in trying to make our marriage work. To the world the marriage looks lost, but to me it is very much in the process of being restored. Yes my H lives at home, but doesn’t stop him from his R with the AW. Your husband is acting very much like my husband, the patterns are very similar. The being nice, the distance, the aloofness…the depression. Some days it seems likes nothing changed other days everything’s changed.
Pamila, do not give up if you truly want your marriage restored. It’s going to take time, your husband is blinded by Satan, he has a hold on him, just like he does on my husband. And there is nothing you can do but pray. Prayer is the answer and it’s working for me not quickly mind you, but slowly things are turning back to me. Your husband doesn’t want to make a decision, he involved someone else, he’s involved his emotions, his feelings, and also made another woman dependent on him and now he’s going to have to decide. It’s easier not to make a decision but to continue going back and forth, but it’s hard on them living their life like that as well, very hard on them. Your H cannot continue on this path. The Lord likes to give us lots of chances to repent, but eventually He will step in and do something! You can bet on it.
Everything that is happening to your husband is happening because of what it says in the bible about adultery. And the free will, well it was explained to me very well by a woman who’s marriage was restored. Yes we all have free will, but GOD can and does change the hearts of men. God can and will change the hearts of our husband’s. But, first we must change ourselves. Our husbands are not going to come back to something that hasn’t changed. God does work with us to change us and He will do that as well..he has changed me in ways I can't explain. Things I'm doing now, things that never came to me naturally are now natural and they are coming directly from my heart, no matter what my husband may think or say! And if the Lord turns our spouses hearts back to us and WE have not changed ourselves, then that is his free will--to leave. I hope I explained this properly.
Pamila, I would highly recommend you check out Restore Ministries and order the packet that is offered. The book that I received changed everything for me and let me look at my circumstances in a new light, or should I say took my eyes off of my circumstances and put them on the Lord. He is showing me the way! One word of caution, take what pertains to you from the information offered there and leave the rest.
Scriptures from the Bible:
Quote: “This is the way of an adulterous woman; she eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I have done no wrong.’ For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood and sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, she does not ponder the path of life; her ways are unstable, she does not know it.” From Proverbs 5.
Quote: “Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, for the heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes. Do not stray into her paths. For many are the victims she has cast down, and numerous are all her slain. Her house is the way to Sheol, descending to the chambers of death. The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; he who is cursed of the Lord will fall into it. For a harlot is a deep pit, and an adulterous woman is a narrow well.” From Proverbs 7.
Quote: “The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; he who would destroy himself does it. Surely she lurks as a robber, and increases the faithless among men. Like a bird that wanders from her nest, so is a man who wanders from his home.” From Proverbs 6, 27.
Quote: “Keep your way far from her, and do not go near to the door of her house, lest you give your vigor to others, lest strangers be filled with your strength, and your hard-earned goods go to the house of an alien; and you groan at your latter end. For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for the precious life. He who keeps company with harlots wastes his wealth.” From Proverbs 5
Without Hope what’s left? We can never give up on Hope. Quite frankly, I don’t know what false hope is, don’t quite understand that concept. Maybe it’s seeing one or two days of goodness and thoughtfulness from our spouse and then nothing..why is that false hope? To me it means there is HOPE…there is always hope.
You’re headed to Wisconsin…well, well…I hope you enjoy your visit here!!
