I called H at 7:50 this am to thank him for the flowers and corsage and to invite him to church. Or maybe I meant to invite him, but I think what I actually said is "I was wondering if you were coming to church with us..."
I had woken him up, and although he was kind and said "you're welcome" the answer to the church question was "no."
He also said that he was tired and feeling sort of shaky, but he told me to have a "nice day."
I do not want to over-analyze any of this, but I am pretty sure that this is the first time he has bought me flowers since his A began. And since my two LL's are words of affirmation and gifts, this flower and card combo scored a homerun.
So what does it mean that just about the time I was getting ready to D his sorry butt, he does something like this? I forgot to mention that he also gave me a check yesterday for my April expenses since he is leaving next Tuesday.
He is acting somewhat more like his old self, but overly critical, overly analytical Pam wants it all now, right now.
Do I just keep playing it cool? I will see very little of him during the next six weeks. I have pretty much stopped calling him on his cell phone as of about 2 months ago. Back then he was so out of control I couldn't even have a convo with him.
BTW S12 was probably more excited about the corsage than I was. Wanted to be sure and let me know that H had put a card in with it and this morning when he (S12) looked in the frig he wanted to know where the card had gone. S12 also told me at church that I looked pretty today, that was sweet.
I need to keep reminding myself to be grateful for the baby steps and not to agonize over my fantasy world not taking shape.
