Another thing that makes this whole flower issue paticularly poignant is the fact that it was one year ago this weekend that I kicked H out.
It was actually Good Friday that I kicked him out (in my pre db phase) and Good Friday was in April last year, but H doesn't have that kind of a head for details. But he did say something about it today, actually referred to it as an anniversary of sorts.
I agree. Good dbing sense is more impt than my excitement at having received flowers. They were nice flowers too, from the florist and not just the grocery.
After I thought about it, I decided that waiting til the morning was a good idea. No need for him to know that I got home early from my adventure.
Let him wonder I say.
I also did something "naughty" before I left for Chicago. In the laundry room where he would have to go to let out the dogs, I hung up some of my "spicy" lingerie to dry. I had not actually worn it, but he doesn't know that.
I just have to call him early enough to get here as he lives about 50 minutes away.
I called H at 7:50 this am to thank him for the flowers and corsage and to invite him to church. Or maybe I meant to invite him, but I think what I actually said is "I was wondering if you were coming to church with us..."
I had woken him up, and although he was kind and said "you're welcome" the answer to the church question was "no."
He also said that he was tired and feeling sort of shaky, but he told me to have a "nice day."
I do not want to over-analyze any of this, but I am pretty sure that this is the first time he has bought me flowers since his A began. And since my two LL's are words of affirmation and gifts, this flower and card combo scored a homerun.
So what does it mean that just about the time I was getting ready to D his sorry butt, he does something like this? I forgot to mention that he also gave me a check yesterday for my April expenses since he is leaving next Tuesday.
He is acting somewhat more like his old self, but overly critical, overly analytical Pam wants it all now, right now.
Do I just keep playing it cool? I will see very little of him during the next six weeks. I have pretty much stopped calling him on his cell phone as of about 2 months ago. Back then he was so out of control I couldn't even have a convo with him.
BTW S12 was probably more excited about the corsage than I was. Wanted to be sure and let me know that H had put a card in with it and this morning when he (S12) looked in the frig he wanted to know where the card had gone. S12 also told me at church that I looked pretty today, that was sweet.
I need to keep reminding myself to be grateful for the baby steps and not to agonize over my fantasy world not taking shape.
pam what a turn in oly 6 days away from here...!! Yes, relax, takes that baby steps happylly but do not over react or change your route..!!... i wish you the best on church and let us know if ow try to phone you again.. Why do you think she is callling?!!... maybe troubles in that R??
Thank you for reminding me that there is progress to be seen. Just six days ago I had about had it with H.
I have seen this pattern before though, where he comes close, peeks in, then runs back to the cave. Probably before I have made the logical mistake of getting too excited and scaring him away or too quickly falling into old behavior patterns.
As for the OW phone calls, I cannot even begin to speculate.
I am hoping that she is not flying to Europe from Brazil to meet him there. She did that once before, although I did not find out about it until many months later. For those of you who have followed my story from way back when, it was back in September when I made cookies for H to take on his trip to Europe. I dropped them off to him, gave him a kiss and a breezy ILY and took off in a matter of about 5 minutes.
I bet those cookies really stuck in his throat, he probably threw them away. LOL
When I did find out later that OW had gone with him, I was extremely ticked off, for many reasons not the least of which it was a several thousand $ plane ticket.
He later told me that it was $ well spent, that being with her day and night for three weeks had opened his eyes to the fact that he did not want to spend the rest of his life with her. Yet six months later he is still "with" her, as with someone as you can be when the live thousands of miles away.
I guess my criteria for him not being "with" her is when he stops paying her expenses. The lease on their Brazilian house is due in May. One can only hope...
I don't know what to say. I would like things to go well for you.
I have experienced little glimmers of 'niceness' from H in the past year, little gifts of nice bread or something, but it has never lead to any sustained movement in my direction.
I would suggest you play it pretty cool with your H. If he really is moving closer to you, he knows the way! Let him do some of the work.
Hope you had a nice Easter Sunday.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
We did have a nice Easter, thanks for the wish. We will be eating our Easter dinner in about 45 minutes or so. I made a turkey breast, dressing, rolls, gravy, peas, and a pretty little Easter cake.
It will just be the three of us, i made MIL fend for herself so she is at the home of her S and DIL. DIL is a poor cook, but it was about time to let someone else take a turn, not that they would think to invite me or anything. SIL would rather gossip about me behind my back then invite me over. It has always been my role to entertain MIL, even though she has seven kids of her own. Most of her kids got smart, though and moved far away.
I also would like things to go well, but I am way past the point of getting excited over little baby steps. Too many times I have seen this happen esp to other posters and the red flag would go up in my mind and then there would be some ulterior motive on the H's part and it would all turn to crap.
But hey, at least it was flowers and not some kick in the butt. Life could be worse, I have my health, my kids, my salvation, my good friends, and those indeed are things to truly be thankful for.
Yes, relax, takes that baby steps happylly but do not over react or change your route..!!... i wish you the best on church and let us know if ow try to phone you again.. Why do you think she is callling?!!... maybe troubles in that R?? 
that she is not flying to Europe from Brazil to meet him there. She did that once before, although I did not find out about it until many months later. For those of you who have followed my story from way back when, it was back in September when I made cookies for H to take on his trip to Europe. I dropped them off to him, gave him a kiss and a breezy ILY and took off in a matter of about 5 minutes.