Okay....it came! H is moving out today. H didnt come home until 130am from the races. He had makeup on his sweatshirt and stains on his underwear....but he says he was alone. I am really having a hard time. I am sad and happy(more sad and mad) I feel that he has just given up on us and I spent so much time and effort through the years to let it go so easy. He said that it saddens him to leave but he cant live with us arguing anymore. (We havent argued in a long time) I have just smiled and been happy. I think that it is his guilt that is hurting him. I never thought that this would have happened to me. How can he walk away and not try to put us together. I have done all of the work here. H told me that he isnt sure that he can remain faithful during the separation. I have died inside. I dont know what to do now. He said that he hopes in the long run that we can be together again. Ouch! I really havent seen a lot of H lately. He comes home late or I just give him his space when he is at home. I am deeply destroyed today....I dont know if I should keep fighting for our M or just give up.
