I do think that there is still hope once he moves out. In fact I often believe that in my own sitch that would probably be the better solution so that H has a chance to miss me...Just not strong enough to stand by it.
I totally agree with the phone and sexual R being too easy and it is a FANTASY life. No real tie to the other person, tho they let the other person believe that they are committed to them and they are just home because of the kids. WHATEVER!
WHere will H be moving? Dont worry that he threatened D. My H used to do that all the time this past summer, whenever he felt backed into a corner or pressured. It was all talk. He has NEVER talked to a lawyer. So relax on that issue for the moment. My H has also threatened moving out TONS of times, yet he hasnt. So dont say another word about it to H. Leave it be and see what develops. I know how you are feeling now, and you are not alone.
