I'm sorry that things are so tough. I feel for you. This stuff really is a rollercoaster, up and down. I've been struggling lately too. Why do you give 150% and it's all about him....because you are the one interested in saving your marriage. It's really unfortunate that that's the way it is.
I think as others have pointed out you need to find a way to distance yourself from what he says. Don't listen to these negative comments and take it hard. Most days I'm pretty good at it, but unfortunately in my case my wife is on the fast track to divorce. You have positives though...you H still sometimes says he loves you and does have his good days. Try to ignore the days he's bad. Focus on what went right when you have really good days and do more of the same.
One thing that helps me is realizing that only you are responsible for your happiness and that you have no control over what your H thinks or feels. If you can avoid trying to guess what he's thinking it will help. My wife intends to divorce me....but i've accepted the fact that I cannot change how she feels about me or that she thinks divorce is best. In my case ...."she really cares for me", but doesn't want to drag this out and give me false hope, etc etc etc. Once I accepted the fact that I can't change her mind, divorce isn't the end of our R, and that I'm no worse off divorced that I am right now...I'm able to remain upbeat (with occasional small downs).
Hope this wasn't too vague. And hope it helps.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
