Be careful with the white strips. I just did it for the first time a couple of weeks ago. My teeth whitened up alright. The only down side is that after about 5 days my teeth got REAL sensitive to cold. I would start drinking a soda and almost have to spit it out.
Other than that...
I'm on my way to the personal trainer. If I can lift my arms later tonight I'll throw out an update on my thread. Have the great night you deserve.
D.
P.S. Q: Why did the Redhead scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side.
Well, another day is gone...I am thanking myself that I didnt think that kiss really meant something. H came home last night around 815p and I could tell that he was having one of his I dont feel like being married modes....What causes this? H ate dinner and showered and to bed....I took a shower folded the clothes and the to bed I went. He was watching tv...being quiet...so i said good night! This morning I could see the mood didnt change....he said have a good day and then started walking out the door....ding dong me said...whats wrong with you(I was being nice)I said dont give up and fight that bad feeling that your head is telling you. He said its hard...sometimes I want to try and sometimes I dont. Then I told him what about Sunday...you told me that you love me with all of your heart....he said no I didnt say that I said I heart you with all of my love....I said that means the same thing. I smiled because I wanted to frown and then told him to have a great day. I hate that I told him not to give up but I felt in my heart that it was the right thing to do. Why is everything about him...how he feels and what he wants...when I try to focus on the both of us. Can this marriage work out....I dont know but I wish that he could be one way long enough so that I could try to understand... What do you think I should do next?????
I'm on my way out the door so this'll be short. Just be patient with it. See what happens tonight. Do something today to take your mind off it. I'll check in on you tonight.
It could be worse, you could be a redhead!
D.
P.S. I had about 5 paragraphs on my thread last night and my laptop batteries ran out before I could post it.
Hang in there. Right now focus on you and GAL. When I do this I find I don't worry or think about H as much. Try to detach and not figure everything out. I know that is hard, we just want answers. But unfortunately we can't get them right now. So push those thoughts and questions out and try to focus on other things.
You have been doing well. Keep it up. Do something for YOU. Are you GAL? Go out tonight when H gets home.
Well, I am back in a slump. H told me that the reason that we are still together and living together is because he cant afford a divorce. A f*&king slap in the face. I dont think that I can do this DB thing. I try and detach but its so hard for me. I want to be loved and darn it I know that I deserve it. I look back at who I am and I think that I am a sweet person always trying to make everyone happy. I am one of those that will go without so that someone else can be happy. I am destroyed today. I really started to believe that things were starting to get better. He said that he had a dream that we were going to die and he was holding me tight telling me that he loved me and then (Smack) H wakes up and says that. Why do i try? I give 150% and he is giving 1%. I dont want to lose my family....I want a loving hubby, I want my D1 to have a daddy at home...and I dont want to lose my stepson. I cant stop crying....I am so weak. I have really been trying to do everything to make him happy....pretty much bending over backwards and then he says things like that. He said that he loves me he just isnt happy. I dont want a D...but I feel like he just wants a babysitter and house cleaner...not a lover. To tell you the truth...we were intimate....and he had his but wasnt even thinking about me....thats not like him. I cant do this...I feel like my insides are torn out of me. Why do I keep trying when it isnt working. I havent accused him of anything lately and I dont check up on him anymore....but if it isnt a OW then how can he be so rude to someone that is so nice to him. Help me! I need advise......please respond! Desperate Blondeqt1
I'm sorry that things are so tough. I feel for you. This stuff really is a rollercoaster, up and down. I've been struggling lately too. Why do you give 150% and it's all about him....because you are the one interested in saving your marriage. It's really unfortunate that that's the way it is.
I think as others have pointed out you need to find a way to distance yourself from what he says. Don't listen to these negative comments and take it hard. Most days I'm pretty good at it, but unfortunately in my case my wife is on the fast track to divorce. You have positives though...you H still sometimes says he loves you and does have his good days. Try to ignore the days he's bad. Focus on what went right when you have really good days and do more of the same.
One thing that helps me is realizing that only you are responsible for your happiness and that you have no control over what your H thinks or feels. If you can avoid trying to guess what he's thinking it will help. My wife intends to divorce me....but i've accepted the fact that I cannot change how she feels about me or that she thinks divorce is best. In my case ...."she really cares for me", but doesn't want to drag this out and give me false hope, etc etc etc. Once I accepted the fact that I can't change her mind, divorce isn't the end of our R, and that I'm no worse off divorced that I am right now...I'm able to remain upbeat (with occasional small downs).
Hope this wasn't too vague. And hope it helps.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
