Okay for everyone that cares....tonight has been awful for me. I did some thing right and the rest wrong. I just need to type about it.....I need support. I decided to finally do my GAL.....I got my nails done...feet done...eyebrows waxed....the whole enchilada I was starting to feel good because my H was going to watch our D...but of course before I went to enjoy myself he wanted to argue....I hate arguing! He did tell me again that he wants a divorce. He is not happy being married. He thinks that I am stupid for wanting to forgive him after I know that he has on EA which involved S. He told me I was an ass because I saw him a a hotel and I know what he was doing.(At the time I thought he was alone....I didnt know she was there or I probably would have fought with her). He said that he would never be able to forgive me if I did something like that. I told him that he can have his own opinion but that my belief is that a person should be forgiven if the make a mistake...but not if they continued doing it. (I guess that I am stupid) I let me tell me that and that he was so unhappy with me and that of course...he loves me but is not in love with me. It hurt but I was so pissed that he was trying to ruin my night that I blew off that subject. He also said that he will have to live the rest of his life knowing what he did and that it hurts me. I told him that I am moving on and if he cant then that is his problem. (excuse, excuses, excuses) He said that our D will always be part of his life. He was really mean. He told me that he is not seeing the OW and that he feels that he should become gay because he is sick of women. I told him that I think that he would be a great gay man. Sorry I was mad. I hate that he blames so much on me. I told him that I was trying to make our R work but that I cant work alone. He said....."Idont know how many time I have to tell you that I want a divorce...when will you understand." I dont understand that if it is that important to him...then move. Stop staying here with me and go on his way. He said that we are having money problems...(they really arent that bad) we have things to pay off when we were cleaning up his credit...plus hospital bill. (I had baby and kidney stone surgery) I told him that we are tight because we have to pay back things that we HAD to do...its not like I go out and spend money on stupid things...I did throw the fact that he has been going to the bar spending our money to have beers...approx $100 a week. I am one person that likes when others are happy and I will go without. I guess I feel that he was trying to throw a lot in my face....It hurts so bad(sorry NY I probably really did a bacckslide...and its not gonna happen again)...I wish that he knew how important life and our marriage is to be...but he is so hard headed and I dont think anything I can do will ever change that. He left to go to the bar the minute that I got home but I am still so hurt and mad that it doesnt bother me. I am so sad and I dont know where to go or what to say next....Please help me. Does this mean that it really is over Please help me!
I was starting to feel good because my H was going to watch our D...but of course before I went to enjoy myself he wanted to argue....I hate arguing! He did tell me again that he wants a divorce. He is not happy being married. He thinks that I am stupid for wanting to forgive him after I know that he has on EA which involved S. He told me I was an ass because I saw him a a hotel and I know what he was doing.(At the time I thought he was alone....I didnt know she was there or I probably would have fought with her). He said that he would never be able to forgive me if I did something like that. I told him that he can have his own opinion but that my belief is that a person should be forgiven if the make a mistake...but not if they continued doing it. (I guess that I am stupid) I let me tell me that and that he was so unhappy with me and that of course...he loves me but is not in love with me. It hurt but I was so pissed that he was trying to ruin my night that I blew off that subject. He also said that he will have to live the rest of his life knowing what he did and that it hurts me. I told him that I am moving on and if he cant then that is his problem. (excuse, excuses, excuses) He said that our D will always be part of his life. He was really mean. He told me that he is not seeing the OW and that he feels that he should become gay because he is sick of women. I told him that I think that he would be a great gay man. 
Sorry I was mad. I hate that he blames so much on me. I told him that I was trying to make our R work but that I cant work alone. He said....."Idont know how many time I have to tell you that I want a divorce...when will you understand." I dont understand that if it is that important to him...then move. Stop staying here with me and go on his way. He said that we are having money problems...(they really arent that bad) we have things to pay off when we were cleaning up his credit...plus hospital bill. (I had baby and kidney stone surgery) I told him that we are tight because we have to pay back things that we HAD to do...its not like I go out and spend money on stupid things...I did throw the fact that he has been going to the bar spending our money to have beers...approx $100 a week. I am one person that likes when others are happy and I will go without. I guess I feel that he was trying to throw a lot in my face....It hurts so bad(sorry NY I probably really did a bacckslide...and its not gonna happen again)...I wish that he knew how important life and our marriage is to be...but he is so hard headed and I dont think anything I can do will ever change that. He left to go to the bar the minute that I got home but I am still so hurt and mad that it doesnt bother me. I am so sad and I dont know where to go or what to say next....Please help me. Does this mean that it really is over 
Please help me! 
