BLONDEQT1, you did the RIGHT THING by "agreeing" with the divorce, even though you don't really want one. Let me tell you why it was the smart thing to do.
Your H at this moment believes that he wants a divorce. In his mind, the marriage is over. That's why any talk of "saving this marriage", "I'm devoted to this marriage" and all that coming from the LBS means NOTHING to the WAS, and in fact, infuriates the WAS because, again, in their mind, the marriage is OVER and any persistence on the part of the LBS is construed as more of the same behavior that led the WAS to walk. It's construed as the LBS being completely insensitive to the needs of the WAS.
Now, by agreeing with the WAS regarding the necessity of a divorce, you are in fact making them feel as if you are on their side. You are no longer someone they can point their finger too as the source of their woes, at least as far as this matter is concerned. there is no one for them to fight against, and you are providing no fuel for their justification. Instead of raising their defenses, they can relax, because you've agreed with their position: that the marriage is over.
Now, this is important: There is a BIG difference between someone saying they want a divorce, and that same someone actually getting the divorce. Though you've agreed to the divorce, you DO NOT do anything to help attain it. You don't fight it, you just don't help it along. In other words, let the one seeking the divorce do ALL the work in attaining it.
