Hey Michele - I like your questions, they make me stop and think a bit more Too often, I'm happy with the conclusion before I've thought through the implementation details.

Independent - for us, this means making plans without waiting for him to define the framework. I found that he actually likes his options narrowed a bit. Turns out ow was the scene setter in their relationship too - she gave him new options of places to go, things to do, and by defining her plans, invited him to tag along. I used to do this, and then over time, got comfortable just chilling out at home. Since dbing, I've gotten back into the circuit with my friends, and sure enough NG always tags along. I just need to do more of the same, have my plans, which apparently make me more attractive to him
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How about "smart"? Would that mean going to hear lectures with NG, or taking in a foreign film?

This is an easy one Just good ole fashioned common sense, and quick wittedness. Oh gosh, a foreign film will be tough for me, never mind NG. We are not really high brow, just street smart type folks, usually. Well read for sure, but more science than arts. I think NG is entirely comfortable his wife is smart - he just forgot to appreciate this for a few months when he chose to spend time with ow who he describes as having the mental agility of treacle

One more thing that does NOT work with NG, asking him to process more than one concept at the same time. No he is not slow, just reluctant to be stressed. Anytime I try to get through a list of chores, I meet resistance. If I stick to one thing that is important, he is more than willing to be extremely helpful. Something to remember, this slowly stuff.

Slowly




A Liberal Allowance of Time